Republicans Support Democracy in Ukraine as Long as It Does Not Spread to U.S.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a robust assertion, Republican congressional leaders mentioned that they strongly assist democracy in Ukraine, so long as it doesn’t unfold to the US.

“Vladimir Putin ought to make no mistake,” the G.O.P. assertion learn. “We Republicans will do all the things in our energy to protect democracy in Ukraine, and to maintain it over there.”

Drawing a line within the sand, the Republicans argued that democracy “have to be allowed to thrive throughout the territorial borders of Ukraine and shouldn’t be permitted to leak out into Florida, Texas, or Georgia.”

Calling Russian aggression “a slippery slope,” the G.O.P. declared, “If Vladimir Putin is allowed to undermine democratic norms in Ukraine, he might be emboldened to assault our proud American traditions of gerrymandering, disenfranchisement, and voter suppression.”

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